Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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