It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
