it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
