But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
