Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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