No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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