I just cut my nipple shaving
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
