We're facebook friends in real life
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
