I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
