i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
