Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
