I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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