Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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