An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
