I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize