maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
