that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
