If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
