watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
