you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
