You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize