You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
