No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
