Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need to align my fucking chakras
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
