why didn't you poke me back
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize