He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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