I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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