How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize