I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize