Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
