I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
