Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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