The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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