I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyone says I win the strip club
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
