I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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