Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
