And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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