You can't motorboat a personality
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
