Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
