I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
