hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize