Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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