I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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