I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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