someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
