Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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