She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
