let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
