she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
