doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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