what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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