My Higher Power is John Stamos
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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