you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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