I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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