Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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